From a young age, many of us were taught that being “like a girl” was the worst thing we could be. Some of us were beaten, shamed, or bullied for crossing those invisible lines. So it’s no surprise that, later in life, we might overcompensate—going out of our way to perform masculinity, and then expecting it from others. This shows up in: Shaming femme men, Only dating men who are “straight-acting, Feeling shame around being a bottom, Cock size , Compulsive gym goals