There’s a particular narrative that quietly circulates in some parts of the gay male community. It doesn’t always show up loudly or aggressively. More often, it appears in passing comments, in distancing, in discomfort. 

Low self-esteem almost always stems from trauma. Sometimes that trauma is obvious and unmistakable. Abuse. Assault. Bullying. Accidents. Violence. Racism. Homophobia. Transphobia. Growing up in unsafe or unpredictable environments. And sometimes it’s quieter. So quiet it often gets dismissed or minimised. And sometimes it’s quieter. So quiet it often gets dismissed or minimised. Being compared unfavourably to siblings.