There’s something I want to talk about today that comes up a lot in therapy, especially with LGBTQIA+ people: the thin, slippery line between self-improvement and insecurity. We’re constantly told we should be working on ourselves—losing weight, gaining muscle, fixing our skin, staying youthful, becoming "better." But better for who? For ourselves? Or for others to want us?

Body shame is a painful and pervasive reality for many Queer men, reinforced by dating apps, media, and narrow ideals of desirability. This blog explores how fatphobia, masculinity norms, and internalised Queerphobia shape self-worth and intimacy. It challenges the harmful idea that certain bodies are more “acceptable” than others, and centres compassion, resistance, and reclaiming self-worth beyond appearance.