Many years ago, and I’m talking decades, I was repeatedly asked by those close and not so close to me, ‘why don’t you have normal friends?’ I was defiant in my answers. Given I was a teenager at the time, psychological theories and the ‘grown-ups’ around me may have put my stance down to being rebellious, to p*** off the parents or, it’s just a phase. Not true. It was the foundation of who I was growing into and discovering what was important to me.

one side broadly seeks to restrict, remove, or roll back rights — the other broadly seeks to protect or expand them. That is not moral equivalence. That is not “two sides of the same coin.” That is a structural difference in who gets to live safely. And when we pretend otherwise, we obscure harm.

Being a Queer ally is not about labels or good intentions alone — it’s about action, accountability, and ongoing learning. This blog offers a clear, compassionate guide to allyship, exploring how power, privilege, and silence can cause harm, even unintentionally. It invites allies to move beyond performative support and towards listening, self-reflection, and meaningful solidarity that genuinely supports Queer lives.